i need you to love me.
love me like a drought loves rain.
love me like a fat kid loves cake.
love me like how the treble loves the bass.
love me like freedom.
love me like peanut better and jelly.
love me like macaroni and cheese.
love me through good times and disease.
love me like forever.
love me like life is not complete without me.
love me like your missing puzzle piece.
love me like i am an extension of you.

check the box if you have read these terms and conditions.

i love you.
love you wholeheartedly.
love you without apology.
love you and don’t hide any feeling.
love you in your madness and your peace.
love you til your scars recede and your soul speaks.
love you til our dream becomes a daily reality.

i need you to know and believe
i love you.
love you like a drought loves rain.
love you like a fat kid loves cake.
love you like how the treble loves the bass.
love you like freedom.
love you like peanut better and jelly.
love you like macaroni and cheese.
love you through good times and disease.
love you forever.
love you because life is not complete without you.
love you because you are my missing puzzle piece.
love you because you are an extension of me.

please copy above in your own handwriting so admission committee knows you agree.

lastly please initial, sign and date.
Once approved, take me out and seal our fate.

~26.apr.15~
#napomo2k15

i should have known
when you keep selling
you, yourself have a hard time believing
what your tongue is spraying
how many different ways
can you tell me facts that never change

years for me you were hunting
but i was being cautious
of your advances
your reputation made you daunting
like a politician moving
wolf in sheep’s clothing
got all the up-and-coming skeptical of your whole being

::Boy, look at me in my face
Tell me that you’re not just about this treble
You really think I could be replaced?
Nah… I come from outer space
And I’m a classy girl
I’m a hold it up
You full of something but it ain’t love
And what we got is straight overdue
Good luck finding somebody new::

no matter what your business is doing
your actions are toxic
Free is the only way you be rocking
so your mind
you truely lost it
i’m taking my kids
on stage, mics we be dropping
giving you connections, i will be stopping
good luck in NY, tryna be footprinting
baby, each borough
got my number
blackballed you becoming

::if your lips are moving, if your lips are moving
If your lips are moving, then you’re lyin’, lyin’, lyin’, babe::(x2)

The elite tried to warn me
but i wanted you to be brand new
different time, different life
different situation, different scenes
Grant game money tight
Renigging on a promise, tho
that ain’t right

::Hey, baby, don’t you bring them tears
‘Cause it’s too late, too late, babe, oh
You only love me when i bring the dollars there
You’re so two-faced, two-faced, babe, oh

:If your lips are moving, if your lips are moving
If your lips are moving, then you’re lyin’, lyin’, lyin’, babe: (x2)

~20.apr.15~
#napomo2k15

Song lyrics from “Lips are Moving” by Meghan Trainor

Due to the sensitive nature of this piece, I will only be posting a snippet of it. To see the whole piece, Order your copy of “Devil’s Music” in 2016.

Dry those tears madre
Everyday the pain travels farther
i now cry tears like a martyr
my voice has become stronger
anything God makes Satan can never put asunder
The strength you birthed in me
the 8th wonder
all women are as strong as a tea bag in hot water

yes i kept the whole truth
from you
only to keep our love as forceful as crazy glue
i didn’t want the remnant of pity and sorrow
to emanate from your soul windows
i wanted happiness to radiate
being something you continue to marinate
not the pain i endured
through my soul and spirit’s rape…

~11.apr.15~
#napomo2k15

my spirit began questioning
and quelling
its essence
i began to feel nonexistent
as my presence
was never good enough
never good enough for its own space
for its own stage

when you said
i should be more like her
you voiced me dead
it never marinated in my brain
it just muffled around my head

i was born in a different season
in between changing scenery
from cold autumn winds
to crispy inverno foliage
and shiny crystal visions
i wasn’t made to be
her splitting imagery
she is Spring
I am Fall AND Winter
personalities so different
dreams of opposite coastal success
our legacies will be royally addressed

when you said
i should be more like her
you voiced me dead
it never marinated in my brain
it just muffled around my head

“imitation is suicide”
a slap in the face of God
Telling Him he made a mistake
in His celestial clay
in His arms we both cling and stay
embrace our uniqueness
forever forward from this day
marvel in the passions we partake
for a better world, our hearts desire to make

~10.apr.15~
#napomo2k15

I wish I could b like you
Lingering on lips
Staining bodies
So you never forget
Changing personalities of all you are in contact with

I wish I could be like you
Falling off bone
Shredded
But still with powerful presence

But still
No matter how many years I have been marinated
I have to fight to be noticed
I have to have a ting tang
Just to be worth something
I have to water down my substance
In order to be digested
And understood

I know I’m saucy
But the flavor seems not to last
Evaporating the moment I leave the mic or room
I thought the past was in the past
My present continues to mirror the past
Experience should increase your respect
Not diminish your impact
Luckily my mission is bigger than ego
Bigger than dollars and cents
It is heaven sent
Divinely favored
The road less traveled
The pen less managed
Freedom given to the soul

I guess because I am not food
Everyone has the right to be rude
Let them be pepper
And i be salt
My words have longevity and take you to school
I patented my swag
You can’t script this walk

~6.apr.15~
#napomo2k15

“baby gurl” (from “My Journey through poetry”, published 2010)

baby gurl, we love you & miss you
baby gurl, we know you’re watching us
baby gurl, you were at the pinnacle
but God, almighty God wanted you as His success
aaliyah dana haughton, the most missed in the music and movie industry
a name with a nice ring to it
lost and the world shocked
baby gurl, people are trying to forget you
but your fans and extended family
will die before that happens
let your shining star shine down upon us
say hi to my relatives for me, thanks bunches
ja, missy, tim, ginuwine, damon, the list goes on and on… all miss you
you’re gone too soon but you can’t mess wit’ God
so we’ll see you soon, baby gurl
holla back soon  baby gurl

[8 nov 2001]

I went to jersey city slam last night finally quelling my friend Lyte Epps. Hes been wanting me to hit that stage since forever… i got there… everyone standing around, place dark and i find out it they told everyone 9 but it doesn’t start til 10… strike 1

I came all the way from work in Brooklyn to spit…knowing that i would only get an hour / hour and half artist inspiration was saddening. But i met a dope poet that often frequents the Nuyorican, i was feeling a little better. I also met a person who frequents Louder Arts so i was thinking about taking away strike 1. But no, Be on time.. i understand an half hour grace period but an hour! C’mon..

But then the host came up… she was soooo long winded! Say the rules and get to steppin love! I do appreciate the dirty hiaku u spit before my set, that was dope… but strike 2 for you not wearing shoes… professionalism love professionalism…

I performed “how to make sugar” and a new piece, “patience”… so glad i didn’t do “lesson plan” (only 4 people would hv gotten it)..

On the open mike, there were some good deep poets that i thoroughly enjoyed. You could tell the artistry; i love that. Two outta four comedians were good… and then the poet laureate of Union City came up…Strike 3.. aweful!

Strike 4… inside jokes with the regulars… not including the new folks…

The slam… the sacrificial poet was timid… you couldn’t hear her… she had some dope lines but the piece needed work… i mean when u say sacrificial poet i am expected to be blown away ie Louder Arts & Nuyorican… plus i talked to her before it started & she said SHE WASN’T A POET! how you hv someone as a sacrificial poet who doesn’t even think she’s a poet?!?! Really JC! Really! STRIKES 5 AND 6!

Because it started an hour late, only got to hear 1 person in the slam…. Theron… he restored my faith in the slam… but when i saw his score against the sacrificial poet… i was done… not really gonna put a strike here bc the truth is… SOMETIMES THE AUDIENCE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE DOING?!…

the strike 7 goes to the time penalty…I don’t know how you deserve to have the harshest time penalty in all of slam..1 pt deduction every second if your poem exceeds 3min20s…

The moral of this story is… I hope u believe in you have a second chance to make a first impression bc JC slam… u really need that second chance!

Some sour Azúcar this morning!
Peace!

It took: 2 prompts, 6 guys, 2 fights with my mother, 1 heavenly father, 1 fallen angel, 30 days observing NYC subways, 1 historic day, 1 challenging concept, 3 future propositions, and 1 forgetful parent moment (“dissent of a college grad” will b tweeted tonight) to lead to 33 poems in 30 days!

1. Sazón Sensitivity
2.Open Your Mind
3. Forever Praise
4. Armas Malas
5. Heavyweight
6. Declaration
7. Our Song
8. Bitter taste
9. Lesson plan
10. Reverence
11. Mayday
12. Mixed Dreams
13. Honey bunches of sidepiece smoke
14. Nuestro Rincón
15. Sauvemente besame
16. Accept me
17. Enamorada
18. 6th sense
19. Just a Friend
20. Epiphany
21. Giddy confusion
22. Other half
23. Addicted
24. Reverb
25. The final 2
26. Short end of stick
27. Muted Mind
28. Smooth Criminal
29. Oxymoronic & ironic
30. Dissent of a college grad

Tomorrow the snippets will go live in one webpage

Poetically blessed,
Azúcar

Mahogany Browne is a dope host ya’ll. You gotta check her out!

Falu and Jamaal were my favorites. Their flow, poetic development/movement throughout the poem, subject matter, and cadence delivery had me going crazy. You do not know how many times i dropped my marker cap (it wasn’t staying on the back anyway)

Rico and Sing touched me in a different way… i felt there pain and disgust with the world. Especially i’ve heard “it’s not you it’s me” so many times and i used to work in a classroom.

This youngn McPhearson! All i can say is Gma what’s really good… and Tupac, your hologram speaks! Although i got lost a few times because i wasn’t digesting his stanzas quick enough, he’s good. However, i can’t get wit the Spatula man! I just can’t. When he comes back he must explain!

After two rounds, Jamaal won and the faithful few (myself and Lady Eclectic included) had a one round open mic. I read some NuInk called “i wish”.

Always inspired,
Simone Nikkole pka Azúcar

Te amo pa siempre Mrs. Ella!

Humbly in Reverence,
Simone Nikkole